Something my client said about finding it hard to ask for help reminded me of my own experience when I had post-natal depression with my boys. I wouldn’t allow myself to ask for help until I was at breaking point. I never admitted to anyone I needed help. I could barely admit it to myself let alone anyone else. I felt so much shame around it, I could not bear for people to see my imperfections, I felt so weak. I felt like such a failure. It was exhausting.
Growing up, we didn’t talk about things much. It wasn’t the done thing to “air your dirty laundry in public,” “what will the neighbours think?” In my family, we were much more likely to brush things under the carpet and pretend they didn’t happen and just get on with things.
So this was how i learnt to deal with things as an adult. If i knew then what i know now my life would have been so much easier. I’m sure my mental health wouldn’t have deteriorated to the extent that it did, and my relationships wouldn’t have suffered nearly as much either. Hindsight’s a wonderful thing but it’s made me incredibly passionate about helping others see things differently, so they avoid the pain I experienced back then.
So are you pretending that you’ve got your shit together when you don’t, because ignoring your pain, masking your vulnerability and continuing on the path you’re on isn’t healthy or sustainable.
Ask yourself, what your beliefs are around asking for help? Do you think it makes you look weak? Do you feel like you’re being a nuisance? Do you believe you are worthy and deserving of support? What other beliefs come up for you when you think about asking for help?
Acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers, that we may need support and allowing ourselves to receive it is an act of self-love. Because when you give that to yourself it mirrors out into the world. It’s teaching our kids and future generations that it’s ok to be vulnerable. That asking for help means you’re strong enough to admit you don’t have all the answers. That’s a real strength. We are worthy and deserving of living our best life.
That period in my life back then was not me living my best life. I suffered in silence unnecessarily because of limiting beliefs I had. I’m so grateful I’ve learnt to let go of them now. The amount of support I have allowed myself to receive over the years has been a major factor in my own incredible growth both personally and professionally. I would not be where I am today without it.
So, if any of the limiting beliefs I mentioned resonate with you, please dig a bit deeper.
Where have your learnt that?
What purpose does it serve believing that?
What is the cost on your life in hiding your vulnerability and covering up your imperfections?
How can you choose to see it differently?
And what difference would it make to your life if you believed that you are worthy and deserving of receiving all the love and support in the world?
What if you gave yourself permission to act from this new place instead?
One thing is for sure, it does take courage, but you will thank yourself for it later if you do.
If this resonates, feel free to contact me for a free breakthrough call
