I was chatting to a client recently who has anxiety and it got me thinking.
So many of us grow up not really expressing our emotions. I used to internalise everything and not outwardly show how I was feeling. It was easier to pretend things hadn’t happened rather than having to face them. That is until I discovered a better way. The consequences of not healing your emotional wounds are much like if you have a physical wound.
It’s like if you’ve fallen off your bike and your arms all cut and grazed and you go to A&E, they will clean up every little bit of dirt, broken glass and clean the wound because when we clean the wound it heals itself. If we just stick a bandage or plaster on it, which is what most of us do when it comes to emotional wounds, we are essentially just covering it up and pretending it’s not there, and sometimes it festers. Emotional wounds are much like a physical wound, we need to clean it up and then it heals itself.
More often than not, when you bottle up your emotions, they are released in ways you later regret. You end up hurting yourself and others. Common ways people deal with pain is by drinking, taking drugs, binge-eating, having one-night stands and procrastination to name just a few. These activities might not be an issue for some people but if they are used as distractions then you are denying yourself the chance to process your feelings and properly heal. Do not stick a plaster on the wound when you need to clean them out.
Life throws stuff at all of us at times. It’s unavoidable and part of our human experience but we don’t have to go through life carrying the weight of it. There are many ways you can let go of stuff that no longer serves you. My preferred method is using EFT or otherwise known as Tapping combined with coaching where we are tapping on the meridian lines, the same points that are used for acupuncture but in EFT we are tapping points on our upper body.
It was such a relief for my client to realise that by addressing the past and healing these unresolved emotional wounds gently, she can live her life feeling how she wants to feel without this anxiety holding her back.
If you have stuff, you’re holding on to, here are my top tips to help you heal your emotional wounds
Don’t deny your feelings – you are feeling it for a reason Being honest with yourself by acknowledging how you feel is the first step to healing. If you can, talk to someone you trust about your feelings.
Accept how you’re feeling – whether you are feeling anger, sadness, jealousy, guilt, even if the emotions you are feeling do not make sense and it feels confusing, accept them without judgement. Your feelings are valid. We cannot get over pain without processing pain and we cannot process pain if we keep avoiding it.
Don’t let the past continue to control you – Instead choose to no longer let this control you. You are so much MORE than your past .
Take action – as Bruce Lee says “Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.” Ask yourself, how would my life be different if I was free of my past? What would you see, hear, feel? And “what can I do today to get me one step closer to what I want to see, hear, feel?”
Ask for help – If you’ve got a problem, ask for help from someone you trust. If you need to work with a coach or practitioner, just do it. The first step is always the hardest but you are going to get a far better result working with a practitioner than you are if you are working on yourself because we can’t be objective about ourselves.
It’s not always comfortable healing our emotional wounds but it is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. I really believe that only when you are truly at peace with your past, optimistic about your future and enjoying the present can we really experience true joy and happiness.
Hopefully, that’s been helpful but if you would like to know how my method of combining EFT with coaching can help you get to where you want to be and feeling how you want to feel, get in touch with me through my contact page. I also offer a free 30-minute discovery call.
